Undecided

What kind of 'vert are you if you swap from extrovert to introvert to something-in-between on a daily basis?

I've had complete and total flip-flops throughout my life which have left me a little bit confused. My first memories are of being painfully shy, not wanting people to notice me, and feeling very insecure because I was not pretty and blonde like my big sister.

Then I hit 7th grade (that's grade 7, in Canadian-speak) and decided that I was missing a lot, and I was going to become outgoing. So I did. That's when I discovered that what people think of you comes from what you think of yourself. This has been immensely helpful in job interviews! On the flip-side, it's also when I learned to start thinking of myself as I wanted to been seen. I stuffed away all the parts of me - my preferences, thoughts, habits - that weren't cool.

Since then, I've more than doubled in age. I'm still not very smart, and still struggle to make decision that aren't based soley on what will make other people like me, but I'm starting to rediscover my likes and dislikes. How elementary is that?

So I guess if I want to be an anti-social home-body one day, a gad-about-town the next day, and the hostess-with-the-mostess on the days in between, that's ok. And it's also OK that I like both John Foggerty & Lady Ga Ga; trashy smut & Willa Cather; homegrown-homemade-organic & Burger King; PBS and Jersey Shore.

I. Don't. Have. To. Be. The. Same. Person. Every. Day.

Country Living

I love where we live. I love looking out the window to see mama cows grazing and baby calves cavorting. I love having a happy-go-lucky dog who trots about in the pasture enjoying country life.

I do not enjoy having to ruin Luke's fun when he toddles over to play with something that Katie (the dog) has brought home from her travels.

Perhaps the dog whisperer has suggestions for training a dog to realize that cow placenta does not make a pleasant lawn ornament.

Don't worry. There are no photos to accompany this post.

Short Nights, Long Days

"I think I'm a little tuckered out," Milo said.

"It is possible to over frolic," the deer murmured.

I think I have overfrolicked this week.

Am looking forward to a grown-ups-only weekend

(or, rather, 24hrs) away with the hubby.

I hope the tables are kind to us.

A Boy's Best Friend

After a walk outside this crisp, beautiful, sun-filled morning, Luke wasn't quite ready to leave Katie (the dog) and come inside. So, being the doting mother that I am, I left him out there and told him to knock on the door when he wanted to come in. Don't report me! I kept an eye on him while sipping my coffee in the cozy house. It was precious! He stood in front of Katie, eyeball to eyeball, and launched into a two minute lecture while tossing rocks (as boys are wont to do). She listened and wagged her tail non-stop. The best playmate ever!

the picture above is not our Katie-dog, and was take a few months ago,
but it is taken in the same place where this morning's lecture was delivered.
:)

Knock it off

Oh, how I wish for one of these:

and one of these:

and one or both of these:

Especially since I found this site with plans for knock-off versions of
some of my favorite pieces of furniture
(I think I have a little blog crush).

Oh, how I also wish I didn't have such a fear of saws in general.
I have yet to master the circular saw and reciprocating saw--
beginner's stuff, really

Maybe some day...

a story worth telling

That advice about no TV in the bedroom? Good advice, but not heeded in our house.

Last night I flipped on the TV and snuggled in bed, ready to relax before lights-out. I was quickly engrossed in a documentary about the Young at Heart Chorus, a group of singing seniors. About 20 minutes later, I was propped on my pillows sobbing into a handful of Kleenex. Oh dear. It was that touching, that beautiful, and that inspiring.

I didn't finish watching the program. At 11:17 my sense of responsibility reminded me that the alarm would go off at 5:35, so I flipped off the TV, consoled by the fact that Netflix could likely finish the story for me on another day.

But that encounter left me with 2 thoughts. First, lovely as the story was, it is just one example of the human spirit. For every neat-o film like this, there are thousands of stories that will never be profiled in a documentary. Forget the grim video on your late local news - there are stories all around us that are beautiful and unique! Second, I want to live to be old. In case I had doubted it before, this story confirmed for me that there will be an opportunity for me to create joy at every age I reach.

Now I'm off to Netflix to add this to my queue!

Irresolute

It's 2010. It's 2010? It's 2010! How can that be?

2009 was a only a brief flash, but it was a wonderful flash. I'm excited to see what this next year brings...what life changes will we experience, truths will we discover, decisions will we make, places will we see, moments will we enjoy?

I am going to laugh in the face of goal setting experts far and wide and create no specific, measurable resolutions for the new year, but there are a number of things that I'm vowing to work on. The only point of listing them here is so I will remember them later...so here goes:

• Be more purposeful about things - live each day with less of a "to-do" list and more of a focus on experiencing my life. My life is happening now. It's not something that's about to start after I get a few more things done. Maybe if I'm living each day instead of just getting through it, I'll experience life, faith, work, people differently. Let's just see, shall we?
• Lose my fear of baking (as pertains to anything other than chocolate chip cookies and baking powder biscuits). Having recently received a lovely assortment of new cookbooks and a sparkling new Kitchen Aid stand mixer, I am now well equipped for this adventure. The greatest obstacle will be overcoming my fear of the precision and chemistry that are required for successful baking. Apron on, chilled butter and pastry flour at hand, I march into battle.
• Be hospitable, or at least ready to be hospitable. Why should it take a day for me to prepare for company? Why can't my house always be in such a state that an unexpected guest could walk in and be fed without me feeling embarrassed about the state of my floors, bathrooms, or kitchen counters? Why shouldn't I leave for church on Sunday morning with something in the crockpot so I could invite guests for dinner? Why should everything take so much planning and preparation? I was not raised this way! I was raised among people for whom hospitality was a constant state of being. That is something to admire!

There will be more specific ways that I will attempt to tackle these sweeping changes, but I'm going to be flexible, change my approach and expectations as needed, and not set myself up for failure. I'm not looking forward to year of stressing out about a to-do list of goals. I'm looking forward to a year of thinking happy thoughts about all the wonderful possibilities of change.

Here's wishing a blessed year to you all!